the movie "Juno"

Juno is a cute movie that was written by a whore. A whore or a stripper or something. It stars Ellen Page, who also starred in the movie "Hard Candy", a movie where she simulated castrating a man. In this movie, it's the script that does all the castrating. She plays a 16 year old girl who discovers she is pregnant. Rainn Wilson, the cashier at the store where she buys her pregnancy testing, calls her "home skillet" for some reason, and I defy anyone to tell me what that means or why it is funny. The audience laughs though, and I die a little inside. This movie is VERY cutely written, and by that, I mean the characters always have some witty little quip or aside remark to make. The title character is always spouting clever lines that she zips through in such a rushed delivery that half the time, i have no idea what she's saying. Her parents are very understanding though, and after she confesses to them that she's pregnant, they don't freak out, they quietly whisper to each other that they wish it could've been drugs or murder or some other problem they could deal with. She decides she's going to have the baby though, after the girl protesting outside the abortion clinic tells her that her baby "has fingernails". She's going to put it up for adoption and locates a couple in the back of the penny saver. The couple is Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner, two more awful people you will never want to meet. Their characters break down like this: Garner is a control freak obsessed with being a "mommy" and Bateman is a man/boy obsessed with guitars and comic books. The wife gives him a "room" to keep all his things in, everything else of his goes in the basement. In one of the movie's more creepy turns, the Bateman character identifies more with the teenage Juno than he does with his own wife, and soon becomes romantically attracted to the 16 year old. Look, i'm not saying this is a bad movie, it's not, it's very cute. The ending is surprisingly touching, and the characters, while very affected, are sympathetic. At times it is even Napoleon Dynamite-esque. But, it had no business being nominated for Oscar for Best picture of the Year, and it was not the best picture despite what Roger Ebert says.