Angels and Demons

Angels & Demons (2009): starring Tom Hanks, Ewan McGregor, Ayelet Zurer, Directed by Ron Howard
Angels and Demons (and the Da Vinci Code before it), seem like a slightly smarter version of the Nick Cage series, National Treasure. Lots of people are running around, trying to get to the bottom of things, in the kinds of alternate realities where Abe Lincoln survives his assassination attempt and goes underground, or the super collider is used to produce large amounts of anti-matter (because as we all know, "anti-matter is what gives matter its mass"). Granted, the National Treasure movies are more about mixing up America's history and confusing dopey kids even more, while the Da Vinci movies are more about exposing the secret underworld of the catholic organization (seriously, the vatican has more spy gadgets than 007). I'm not exaggerating when I say lots of people are running around, because that's all that's really happening here. The illuminati have come back for vengeance against the church, and they're going to kill 4 cardinals, one on every hour leading up to midnight, at which time they will destroy Vatican City by letting the "God particle" detonate (a.k.a. "anti-matter"), and the only way to stop this detonation is by changing the battery on the God Particle's storage device. That I call this the smarter National Treasure gives you some idea of just how dumb I think those National Treasure movies are. As Tom Hanks character runs from one end of Vatican City to the other, he spouts out lots of "facts" about the catholic church that are meant to give the movie some sort of depth, and they for the most part do. Much like the Da Vinci Code, it's a fascinating mythology that's been created here, and just as involved as the mythology of say, Area 51 or The Loch Ness Monster. It's nothing to offend any religious group, by the way. Tom Hanks runs around, shouting alot, and attempts to inject some sort of interest in his character from time to time, but mostly he's just going through the motions. Also going through the motions is director Ron Howard, who doesn't seem to have any ambition outside of being a second-rate Spielberg at this point in his career. The sets and art direction for the Vatican and Vatican city are all quite outstanding though, and getting a glimpse behind the closed doors of the papal conclave is interesting. It's strange though, that all these holy men who rely so much on faith in their day to day lives should have absolutely no faith in Tom Hanks. Time and time again, Hanks leads them to the answer to their problem and time and time again they deny him when he comes back with a new solution. Time and again we must go through the rigamarole of watching Hanks plead with the ignorant fools who are just dooming themselves. And really? If there's one thing Hollywood doesn't need to produce anymore, it's movies full of ignorant fools.
*** out of *****